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Do you control your fears or do your fears control you?

Updated: May 20

When my youngest daughter was 10 she loved going on bike rides together.  We live on a very steep hill, which my girls conquered riding down at a young age. On this day, my daughter was riding down our steep hill and I was following close behind. All of a sudden she began to scream very loudly.  I wasn't sure what was happening, but I figured she would put her break on and come to a stop so I could see what she was screaming about.  As I was watching her, she began to swerve crazily and all of a sudden, she slammed into a car that was parked along the side of the road and fell off her bike.  I couldn't imagine what had happened!  I quickly dismounted my bike and ran up to her to see what had happened and she looked at me and said, "There was a spider on my handlebars."


We still tell this story to this day and laugh.  It illustrates how so many of us react to things that cause us fear. Fear plagues all of us.  It doesn't matter how confident you are in your ability, when fear comes it will take over. We all have some type of fear no matter what background you come from, or who your parents are. Think for a moment, what are you truly afraid of?


Fear is a natural reaction to challenges in life, but to follow your path to success, you must confront your fears and summon the courage to overcome them.  If you don't confront them, you will never experience the full rich life you were created to live.


Think about where you are right now in life: do you have fears that keep you from moving forward? Maybe it is making that phone call to ask about a new job, or trying to hit a bigger goal than the one you had. You know you can do it, but you are gripped with fear.  You have a choice, you can run away from it or keep heading toward the door to take you into your vision and purpose.  Even if you initially run away, you always have the option to regain your composure and try again. 


In what areas of your life is fear holding you back?  Perhaps you are afraid of the mountain of debt standing in your way. Or a relationship that commitment is pushing you away. 


Whatever is keeping you from an important personal goal right now, I challenge you to take a few steps forward. 


Fear is false.  We fear what we think will happen, which is often based on irrational thoughts, misinformation, or misconceptions.  What I have found is that fear stops me and I avoid it and go around it.  Finally, when I realize the only road I can go on is the one I fear, I usually have to confront it and move through it.  Ex. Picking up the phone to call people to ask them to join me in a webinar.  What are your examples?


Whatever the level of fear in your life, the secret to confronting and conquering it is to be honest and direct.  Ask yourself what-if questions:

  • What if I am successful and people criticize me?

  • What if I take a leap of faith and start a business and then it fails?

  • What if people reject me and say no?

Identifying your fear and answering your "What if?" Questions help you see that life will still go on even if your worst fear becomes a reality.  It also allows you to plan a safety net that will reduce your risk and decrease your fear. 


What questions do you need to confront and conquer right now?


Even with preparation and planning, we can still be caught off guard by our fears.  The fact is, you are human and you will sometimes overreact to a situation.  At the same time, these reactions are behaviors you have practiced for a lifetime, now you have to choose to practice new behaviors.  You do not have to allow your first reaction to be your permanent response.  Reactions do not tap into your wisdom, discernment, or rational thoughts. 


To break free from what is holding you back you must deliberately choose to respond to the adverse and intimidating circumstances of life rather than simply reacting to them.  Whatever you have been running away from, decide to change your mind and your response.


Take a moment and think, when fearful thoughts come into your mind, counter them with truth, and write out empowering truthful statements. If there is a way that you have used to successfully overcome fear write it in the comments below. 

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